Or golden but that depends on who you ask. The last 10 days
my oldest kids have been on a mission trip to Alabama. A few years ago my
friend went on a fast while her daughter went on a mission trip as a reminder
to pray for her daughter whenever she felt a twinge of hunger. I really like my
food and I knew fasting from food would likely only make me crabby and less apt
to pray. A spiritual level I have yet to attain I guess. Instead I thought I
would turn off my radio. I spend a lot of time in my car and I thought that
would be a good time to reflect and hold my kids up in prayer. Did I mention I
spend a LOT of time in the car and I also REALLY like my music.
For an extroverted (ENFP if you are a Myers-Brigg fan) girl
like me, quiet is neither desired or enjoyable. I like people, parties,
friends, conversation, music, basically noise. I enjoy noise. Having a
conversation with me is easy I rarely ever experience that “awkward silence”
people speak of. I fill it with thoughts, dreams, words, oh and music. I like
music. A LOT.
The first things were good. I felt very “spiritual”. I
talked to God a lot. I prayed for each person on the mission trip team. I
prayed for my husband. I prayed for my family, my extended family. I prayed for
my patients. I prayed for the cashier at
Arby’s (she seemed to need it #crabby). I prayed for the people in the cars
next to me, who looked at me funny. (probably because I appeared to be fully
animatedly talking to no one) I prayed for my friends, for my church, for my
pastor, for my neighbors, for my dog. Yes my dog. This all pretty much got me
through Day 1. And then I started singing. Mostly the only songs I know word
for word are hymns. I guess all the years of doing nursing home services paid
off. I know every word to those hymns, even the 7th and 8th
verses. At that point I am sure God was tempted to come to me in a burning bush
and beg that I turn back on the radio. (If you have ever heard me sing you
would understand. But He had to hang in there because He had more to teach me.
Poor God. Some of us take A LOT longer than others) I sang and I sang. Day 3
came and there it was… “The Awkward Silence” I could lose myself in my thoughts
for a bit but then the silence would return. AND IT WAS QUIET. Day 4 a funny thing happened. Me who never
wins ANYTHING won a raffle. Guess what I won????? A BASKET FULL OF CD’s. No I
am not kidding. Either God was testing me or begging me I can’t tell which. A
couple more days of praying, some singing and awkward silence happened.
.JPG) |
| So quiet in here |
About Day 7 I noticed that I didn’t dread the silence so
much. In fact I rather looked forward to the broken prayers and off key “How
Great Thou Art.” I also experienced something else. A presence. A quiet
presence riding along with me. In the quiet, I began to discuss with God the
people I love. Not just a list of wants or asking God to mold the person in a
way I see fit but to really stop and listen. I teach and I know that prayer is
a two way street but the honest truth I am so stinking bad at listening. I
often go without answers to my prayers because I do not stick around long
enough to hear them. It breaks my heart and excites me all at once. What have I missed? What do I have to look
forward to?
Another lesson learned in my experiment/fast? NOT ONE person
noticed the radio was never on. Not my husband, not my friends (love you
Janet), not my children. NO ONE. So what happened instead? We talked! I listened. I enjoyed my people.
Honestly, tomorrow I cannot wait to listen to my CD’s. I
cannot wait to let Meredith Andrews lead me in praise and worship but…. I will
hold to what God has taught me. I will shut up once in a while. I will (try) to
listen more. I will not wait for the
next mission trip to be quiet. A new
trend maybe? Like #MCM (Man Crush Monday) or #TBT (Throw Back Thursday) we
could have #TOT (Turn off Tuesday) or not…. lol
Thankfully God is not finished with me yet “being confident
of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion
until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
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