Lisa Fernelius: 7 Ways Youth Group Saved My Life

The church has been under quite a bit of fire lately. In a culture that has sadly come to pair church with judgment, hypocrisy, lies, greed and abuse I thought it would be especially timely to explain how it is that a youth group (well the whole church really) saved my life. I was an angry teen with the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. I was on the hunt for revenge against my father, against my teachers, against the whole world really. That is until a bunch of imperfect people crazy in love with Jesus stepped in and saved my life.
7 Ways Youth Group Saved My LIFE!

Just one of the many.....

7) These people were REAL! Teenagers can see right through phoniness. These people never tried to pretend to be something they were not. The never once acted like they had all the answers. They made mistakes and apologized, they got sad and happy, found joy and knew how to genuinely love one another. They never tried to be something they were not to gain my friendship instead they were real and honest. (mostly honest, see below for the one disclaimer)

6) They looked for the best in me. Encouraged me, built me up, supported me. I (as most teenagers) suffered from poor self esteem and wanted desperately to be liked/valued. I remember when I was first asked to help with VBS (Vacation Bible School) to help with the children. They trusted me, they saw something in me and built that up. They would point out my strengths and remind me of my talents. I was even asked to play my saxophone. People please listen I was TERRIBLE. I never made it out of last chair. Yet there they would have me in the front as "special music." It was special alright. And afterwords I promise every member of the church would come up and tell me how beautiful it was and how much they enjoyed it. Okay so maybe they were not always honest.

5) They paid for me. Yep they did. They paid for camp, retreats and even employed me to clean bathrooms to help me pay for mission trips. Many gave sacrificially even when I was too young and selfish to understand that kind of giving. They gave meaning to "Put your money where your mouth is." They did not just speak it but they did it.

4) They did life with me. One mom of young children would invite me over since I lived close. She would feed her kids, do laundry, watch Sesame Street and LISTEN. She would listen to my ideas, to my thoughts. She NEVER made me feel like I was a bother. She told me her door was always open and it WAS! Other families would invite me over for movie nights and pancake breakfast. No it was not flashy and hip (yes I know using the word hip is not hip anymore) it was however meaningful and made a difference it my life.

3) They did not judge me. (but did hold me accountable) Often I said words that were not appropriate church words. (I was a rebellious 14 year old give me a break) I lied. I broke things.I laughed hysterically in the middle of a prayer when my Clearly Canadian (remember those?) blew up all over me and my best friend. I once painted my initials with those of a boy I liked on the side of the church building. Yes. I did. Are you understanding the saints these people were? I am positive I would not have liked me. I am positive it would have taken a miracle from God for me to have the kind of patience these amazing people had with me. But they did it. They found ways of letting me know that did not like my behavior but they loved me anyway. I did have to clean the side of the church but last time I was there if you squinted a little you could still make out the pale white letters. I eventually learned appropriate language. I also learned there was no need to lie when people loved you just as you were.
2) Did not let age stop them. The grandmas and grandpas were role models to me. The moms and dads supported me. The single, the married, the honeymooners they all spent time with me. One of the older ladies in the church (whom I love, love, love) did the special programs in church and she always included me and made sure I could participate. She would tell me after everything I did (sing, play the saxophone, read verses) "Lisa you were just lovely." I smile today as I hear her sweet words replaying in my head. A simple statement I was so desperate to hear. I was lovely.

1) They never ever gave up on me. If you were sitting next to me you as I type this you would see the tears rolling down my face. They never quit on me. I was sassy and bratty. They had every right in the world to say "I have had enough. She is not my problem." But they didn't. When I was most un-loveable they put their arm around my and pulled me closer. I guess if I imagine Jesus in a youth group it is exactly what I see him doing. Loving the un-loveable.

It was not flashy or attention getting. I do not think any of those people received an award or trophy for what they did. (though I am pretty sure when they get to Heaven they will have earned quite a few gems in their crowns) Most of the time I am guessing it was not pretty but instead incredibly messy and dirty. It is not quick or easy instead in was an investment. And now I have children of my own and often they are messy, sassy and oh boy have I earned a few gems of my own. Our kids have their own group of wonderfully imperfect people who love Jesus all the way to their toes. People who love them, forgive them, do life with them, support them. I am grateful and thankful for all who invest in the lives of teenagers. For those of you who do....
Thank you. Thank you with all my heart. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep it up even when you think all hope is lost. You are changing lives. And even more that that? You (with God's graciousness) are saving lives, people. You are saving LIVES!