"It is just a label, right?" her glistening eyes asked. I had asked myself the same question hundreds of times. This sweet mom was checking her beautiful daughter in for the first time to children's church. Her glance drifted cautiously between her daughter and my eyes as she explained her daughter's diagnoses.
When my son was in second grade I asked to put learning disability as his primary daignosis and autism as his secondary diagnosis on his education record. They were not supposed to do this but for me (not for Ben) they made an exception. I explained I did not want Ben to be labeled. I did not want people to make assumptions. I wanted Ben to get a fair shake. More than that I did not want Ben to be autistic.
Autism. It made my heart hurt. To this day it makes me a little weak in the knees. BUT I have changed a lot since then. Autism seemed so big and so scary but living with it for a while I have learned to appreciate the gifts autism has brought me. I have the very best teacher in autism. Autism has helped me to become a more compassionate, more empathetic human being. When I consider the person I was before autism she was actually kind of ugly, not in the outside beauty kind of way but in the inside where beauty really counts kind of way.
More importantly though..... while I have come to understand more about autism one thing I know for sure is AUTISM does NOT equal Ben. No more than anxiety equals me or depression equals you.
Let me tell you about Ben. He is kind and thoughtful. One time in Target I was exhausted from working all day and walked past a worker who accidentally dumped a bunch of movies on the ground I honestly did not even see her. Ben did, he slammed the cart to a hault, reprimanded me for not stopping and smiled as he picked up every last movie for her. He sees things. Things I don't. He is loyal, he knows how hard it is to make a friend so when he has one he will go to the ends of the earth for them. I know very few people who are so loyal. He is funny, not just giggle, giggle funny but hilarious makes me want to wet my pants funny. He is a hard worker because in his life many of what might seem like simple tasks to you and me have required hard work. He knows nothing else. He is quirky and sometimes embarrassingly honest but he has taught me how to let go of the haters (Dear Mean Mom in Arby's, I hope your son, the one you just spanked when he "acted like that" does not grow up to be a harsh, judgmental, opinionated person like his mother. Love, me) and appreciate my blessings, for which I have many.
A label has a place. It may HELP to explain something or draw a hazy picture. It can teach and educate. It can provide services or raise money but it does not ever equate a person.
So sweet little momma I long to hug you and remind you, yes it is just a label, no it does not encompass your beautiful little girl. She is a daughter to the King. She was created in His image with a purpose and a plan. No mistakes and no accidents. She is wonderfully and fearfully made.
