“The rate of those divorced inside the church is the same as outside.” Tell
me…Is this such a bad thing?
Now before you stop
reading and defriend me, go with me for a just a second will you? A couple years ago
this statistic caused a lot of upheaval in the church. Since the church should
look different from the world… right??? Here is the trouble with that thought
at least from my perspective. **
If 50% of the population divorced and we are reaching out to our world do you suppose our congregations might consist of those who are divorced? If they don’t might we be missing something? Do we create an atmosphere where the broken find healing? Where grace and mercy is abundantly distributed?
Shouldn’t the church be a place for the broken and hurting?
When Jesus was asked why he chose to hang out with “sinners” he quickly
answered them “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I
have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:31) The
question might be who is a sinner?
I am divorced. I am also a Christian woman who loves Jesus all
the way to my toes. I have often felt the sting of judgment and shame, certain I must be wearing a shiny letter D to identify myself. My friend (who is also divorced) and I recently
were comparing how many times we have been told by those inside the church “God
hates divorce.” I won since I have been divorced longer, more people have had
the opportunity to educate me. Can I just tell you? I know. I know He hates
divorce. I do too. Divorce hurts. It a tool of Satan to rip apart families and
inflict pain on all those involved. Not only the immediate parties either but
extended families and beyond. Yes God
hates divorce. He hates to see His children hurting and broken. So no I do not want to see one more family torn apart
by divorce.
But… it happens. Even Godly, Christian men and women get
divorced. People who love Jesus get divorced for a whole slew of reasons. Some
God has identified as justified and others not so much. I will not even attempt
to touch the topic of justified and unjustified reasons for divorce. I am here to simply say we are hurting. We understand God hates divorce. We know we
have made mistakes and trust me we have experienced regret. For many of our dreams
have been broken and our hopes shattered.
So… Wouldn’t church be a good place for
us?
Please hear me. This is about so much more than divorce.
If 15% of the population struggles with alcoholism I do hope
our churches reflect this number. I pray alcoholics and drug addicts find
solace in Jesus. If 0.5% of our women turn to prostitution I pray they find unconditional love in the arms of our Father. If 50% of the men and women in our church are
divorced I pray they find grace and forgiveness on the inside of our church
walls.
I have to be honest here- churches that are clean, pretty and
full of perfect people scare me. I much prefer a church that consists of messy
and broken people who practice honesty, unconditional love and make it a habit
to display forgiveness and mercy to one another.
Let us encourage each other, turn and heal from our
mistakes, be better people. Hold one another accountable and love each other.
Let us not focus on where we have been but instead where we are going. Then
when others see us they will see something different from the world. Something
more. Something better.
Romans 5:8 but God shows His love for us in that while we
were still sinners, Christ died for us.
** Yes I get that we do not want people in the church getting divorced. Hopefully church can be a place of healing for families.
